Secret #2: The Right Plan Is Based on the Conditions of the Home, the Family, and the Situation
- Dr Deena Stacer
- Apr 24
- 8 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
Once you understand the conditions surrounding the sale, the next step becomes clear: What is the right plan?
And the truth is, there is no one-size-fits-all answer.
Some homes need preparation. Some should be sold as-is. Some benefit from time and investment. Others require quick decisions and immediate action.
The right plan depends on what you are actually dealing with—not what you wish the situation looked like.
Liz’s and Her Husband Were My Good Friends
After her husband passed away, Liz was left with a home she loved deeply. She had been married for 32 years. That home represented a second chance for them after losing a previous home during the downturn. It held meaning, memory, and a sense of stability that she had worked hard to rebuild.
But after his passing, everything changed. Liz was grieving. She was physically exhausted. She was struggling with some health issues. And she was faced with decisions she didn’t feel ready to make.
At first, her biggest question was, "Can I afford to stay here in San Diego?" Liz's needed her husband's income to be able to afford living in her home.
The real questions for Liz were:
Should I stay in San Diego or go back to Missouri?
How can I manage this home on my own?
Am I ready to leave this life behind?
It took Liz about five months to decide. And it turned out that this was the right timing for Liz.
Her home itself was in good condition. It didn’t require major repairs or complicated preparation. Liz was still capable of making her own decisions, but she needed time to decide what was best for her.
Once Liz decided to move back to Missouri, that wasn't the end of the plan. After living there for about a year and a half, she made another decision, to move into a senior community.
Today, she is surrounded by people, meeting new friends every day, sharing stories, and living a full and connected life.
The right plan didn’t just solve the problem of the house for Liz, it supported her life moving forward.
Even the sale itself brought her relief and joy.
When we put her home on the market, we had a buyer's agent say to me at the first Open House, "What terms do we need to offer so this can become my buyer's new home?
One of Liz's requests was that she have some extra time to pack up her furniture, and her belongings to move out of state. The buyers generously offered Liz "as much time as she needed after escrow closed without a rental payment."
Liz stayed one month after the escrow closed to pack up her belongings without paying rent. This felt this was such a lovely gift and it gave her enough time to make decisions about what she would take and what she would leave behind.
Additionally, the buyers loved Liz's elegant furniture. Liz had been wondering what to do with the extra furniture she could not take with her. The buyers during the Open House offered to buy the furniture she would have needed to get rid of. They told her that the furniture would stay in the exact same place in her home as she had placed it. That gave Liz such joy and relief because her beloved furniture was still being respected and still had a presence in her home even after she was gone.
Liz was thrilled that everything was falling into place. That made such a difference to her. It allowed her to leave her home, knowing that the home she had created would continue to be lived in and appreciated.
Liz was transitioning from being a wife to a widow. She was selling some of her beloved furniture because she was downsizing to a smaller place. She was moving back to her childhood roots to be near her family and some high school friends. This transition was more than just selling her home.
It became a step toward healing from the losses she had recently experienced.
If this situation feels familiar to you
If you have lost a spouse or loved one and are trying to decide whether to stay, move, or sell the home, begin with the questions Liz had to face.
These are not just real estate questions. They are life questions.
1. Is staying in the home still right for your life?
Before you decide to sell, ask yourself:
Can I afford to stay in this home on my own?
Does this home still fit my physical, emotional, and financial life?
Am I staying because the home still supports me, or because I am not ready to let go?
Would moving closer to family, friends, or support make daily life easier?
Do I need more time before I can make this decision wisely?
Sometimes the right plan begins with giving yourself enough time to understand what kind of life you need next.
2. If you decide to sell, what needs to happen before the home goes on the market?
Once selling becomes the right direction, the next question is preparation.
Does the home need repairs before buyers see it?
Are there safety issues or obvious problems that could affect buyer confidence?
Are there belongings, furniture, or personal items that need to be sorted, packed, sold, donated, or moved?
Do you need extra time after closing to finish moving?
Would the right buyer terms make the transition easier?
In Liz’s case, the home itself was in good condition. The larger issue was not major repair. It was giving her time, flexibility, and support so she could make decisions about what to take, what to leave, and how to begin again.
3. Will repairs or improvements actually help your final outcome?
Not every home needs major improvement before it sells.
Ask yourself:
Will repairs help me walk away with more money after escrow closes?
Or will they cost more than they are likely to return?
Would spending money on repairs add stress without significantly improving my net proceeds?
Are there “must be done” items that affect safety, financing, or buyer confidence?
Are there things the next owner will probably change anyway?
The goal is not to make the home perfect. The goal is to make wise decisions that fit the home, the timing, and your resources.
4. What type of buyer do the home’s condition and your timing point toward?
Different homes and different circumstances attract different buyers.
Is this a home a family could move into fairly quickly?
Is it better suited for an investor who plans to renovate and resell it?
Is this an as-is cash sale with little or no repair or preparation?
Is the land more valuable to a developer than the structure itself?
Is the home in financial distress, requiring a quick sale to resolve the debt?
When you understand the condition of the home, the financial reality, and the amount of preparation that is realistic, those conditions begin to point toward the type of buyer the property is most suited for.
That matters because it helps guide pricing, preparation, marketing, timing, and expectations.
5. Does the plan support you, not just the sale?
This may be the most important question.
Are you physically and emotionally able to take on repairs, packing, cleanup, and moving?
Are you already exhausted from caregiving, grief, or loss?
Would a simpler plan reduce stress, even if the financial outcome looks different?
Do you need more time, more help, or more flexibility?
What would make this transition easier for you?
The right plan has to work for the person making the decisions, not just for the property.
For Liz, the right plan included time to decide, buyers who gave her flexibility after closing, and the relief of knowing some of her furniture would stay in the home and continue to be appreciated.
6. Is the plan realistic based on your support and resources?
A good plan is not just hopeful. It has to be something you can actually do.
Ask yourself:
Do I have family or friends who can help?
Do I have the money needed for repairs, moving, or storage?
Do I need help selling, donating, or moving furniture?
Am I depending on people or resources that may not come through?
Do I have professional guidance to help me decide what matters and what does not?
Liz’s plan worked because it was realistic. It honored her grief, her timing, her finances, and the life she wanted next.
The right plan is not always the fastest plan
Sometimes the right plan gives you time to decide whether to stay or go. Sometimes it helps you prepare the home without doing too much. Sometimes it helps you find the right buyer, the right terms, and the right timing.
For Liz, the sale was not just about leaving a home.
It helped her move toward family, connection, safety, and a new chapter of life.
When the plan is based on the true condition of the home, the financial reality, the timing, and the needs of the person making the decisions, the process becomes easier to understand and far less overwhelming.
If You’re Facing This Situation
If you are facing a situation like Liz’s, you don’t have to sort through all of this in your head. You do not have to figure it out on your own. You can download the questions, to help you decide if you should stay or sell? These questions to help guide you through the questions to decide if you stay or sell your home.
This printable guide will help you:
think through your next steps
make decisions at your own pace
feel more grounded during a difficult time
Download the free guide here: “Should I Stay or Sell? The Right Questions After Losing a Spouse
Liz’s story shows how deeply personal this decision can be. Her home held memories, history, and love, but she also had to ask whether the home still supported the life she was trying to build next.
You can also read Liz’s full story here: When the House No Longer Fits the Life Ahead:--What Should I Do with the House After My Spouse Dies?
If you would like a FREE copy of my book, Selling a Loved One's Home: What to Know, What to Expect, How to Move through the Heartbreak, Decisions and Details after a Death
If you would like to talk through your situation with Dr. Deena Stacer, feel free to contact her directly or complete the consultation form on the Contact page.
Free Book Download: Selling a Loved One’s Home
Selling a loved one’s home is not a traditional home sale. These sales often involve grief, unexpected delays, family conflict, legal questions, financial pressure, deferred maintenance, and difficult decisions no one feels prepared to make.
In her new book, Selling a Loved One’s Home, What to Know, What to Expect, How to Move through the Heartbreak, Decisions and Details After a Death. Dr. Deena Stacer shares real stories based on real home sales to help you better understand what actually happens during these complicated transactions.
Through the Five Conditions and Seven Secrets frameworks, you will begin to understand why these sales can feel so overwhelming, what causes delays, and how families eventually move through the process to get the home sold.
If you are the person responsible for selling a loved one’s home, either now or in the future, this book was written for you. Download your free copy of Selling a Loved One’s Home
About Dr. Deena
Dr. Deena Stacer helps families navigate the difficult process of selling a loved one’s home after death, during divorce, and through major life transitions in San Diego County.
With decades of real estate experience, advanced education in counseling and conflict resolution, and years of helping families through emotionally difficult situations, Dr. Deena understands that these sales are about far more than just the property. They often involve grief, family dynamics, financial pressure, legal questions, delays, and overwhelming decisions that people never expected to face.
Through real stories, practical guidance, and her Five Conditions and Seven Secrets frameworks, Dr. Deena helps people better understand what is happening during the sale so they can make informed decisions and move through the process with less stress.
Her work focuses on helping the person left in charge feel more supported, more prepared, and less alone during one of the most difficult transitions of their life.
Download the free resources, read real stories about others selling a loved one's home, or learn more at DrDeenaRealEstate.com.
If you would like to talk through your situation with Dr. Deena Stacer, feel free to contact her directly or complete the consultation form on the Contact page.
If you would like to receive a free copy of my book through the mail, please reach out to me.
Contact Me
Dr Deena Stacer
The Doctor that Makes House Calls!
858-229-8072
Stacer Realty
DRE 00703471
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